|
Hello friends!
In 2024 I planned to make more blog posts and be more active in my personal practice. I suppose part of that became a reality in a way! Shortly after my last post, I was greeted with the most exciting news: I was pregnant! 9 long months with the biggest belly and most heartburn ever, I welcomed my little dude whom shall forever be Mr. Baby to the public. We share a birthday and a face (he looks shockingly exactly like little me) and now we also share every meal and nap. Needless to say, I spent 2025 very pregnant and then very tired from labor and raising Mr. Baby. We're almost at a year now and I cannot be happier (or sleepier). 10ish months in and I'm reflecting on what creativity looks like these days. Last year most of it was focused on nesting: I painted all of Mr. Baby's baby shower decorations, I painted a mural in Mr. Baby's room (both Eric Carle's Very Hungry Caterpillar themed), I showed a very vulnerable painting about my first pregnancy loss, I have my first playful felt sculpture on view as part of Lancaster Art Network's Arcana exhibit at Zoetropolis! (go check it out!), and I tried (and kind of failed) to participate in Inktober during some long sleepless nights. It's been good to keep the creative juices-maybe not flowing, trickling? But as Mr. Baby becomes more of a total person with a personality and interests, I'm excited to include him in my making AND figure out what my new normal is for making. I think some of it is also the recent couple of warm days reawakening my desire to be less of a hermit. Stage one of my creative thaw will be blogging again! I like sharing my thought processes and am not always up for the short form ways social media enforces so I think this space will be active again. Stage one and a half will also be more social posts that look more like a digital sketchbook of what I'm inspired by lately. I find that I don't share that enough and while my hands aren't always drawing, painting, or sculpting, I am always saving inspiration and I like when other creatives share those things so I'd like to give that a try. I miss old-Tumblr and Pinterest for this reason! BUT I think I can make it happen here and on IG in some way. Somethings I'm taking away from what I've learned in my "Year of No" and in my "Year of Gestation" is moving slow, being playful. and just starting however imperfectly. I share this so you all hold me accountable and help me embrace my silly more than ever! No pics to share this go around, but in the spirit of sharing what inspires me these days here is my parting Funspiration Station list: FUNSPIRATION STATION This week I am inspired by:
0 Comments
In honor of Latino Heritage Month I'm sharing a series of poems I wrote back in 2019 thinking about my family, my heritage, and identity. I've been writing and rewriting these over the past 5-10 years now and I like to revisit them to see what has changed, what has stayed the same, and what phrases or lines are still echoing in my head all this time later:
I Imagine this Arms stretched Legs too Holding on To homes I've never met The strain As these islands drift ever further Pulling muscle from bone from soul II The first poem I ever wrote about home Was about my grandma I wrote: "CAFE! Grandma screamed so that we all knew it was ready" Something about the smell Something about grown-ups laughing While I sat and observed I read it out loud And the love drunk smiles of my titi's and tio's Told me it was magic I don't want to leave this memory III Ay vece que me siento tan sola Sin historia Sin cultura Sin significado Como hay un cuento que yo nunca sabré Como hay tan grande una historia qu me va a romper mi espalda IV I imagine you Blue suitcase in hand Standing at the bottom of the ramp Looking up at nineteen floors of bring and glass and steel Sometimes smiling Sometimes teeth clenched against the wind you didn't predict Sometimes crying silent tears And I wonder if you knew What was coming? V In the end All I have Are lazos de sangre And that's enough VI In the end All I have Are lazos de sangre And that's too much VII It will take a lifetime To find the intersections The carefully placed knots The twists The interlocking The weaving The unraveling Of hilo and veins and blood That make up Lazos de sangre VIII If we are measuring I am One quarter Dominican Three quarters Puerto Rican If we are measuring I am American (though this is a technicality an imposition) If we are measuring I am the third generation to be born In the United States If we are measuring I am Of Spain And Portugal And Taino And Cameroon And France And Ghana And Mali And Italy And Andean And Benin And Ireland And Senegal And Sweden And Northern Africa If we are measuring I am the daughter of Omar Almanzar and Maritza Santos Of Atabey and la Virgencitya Of Lugos' and Cruz's and Montilla's and Rivera's And names lost to the bottom of the ocean And names lost to the stars And names only love can unravel And I am one hundred percent Salina Mayloni Almanzar Meditations for Aurea I How much have lost Crossing el charco? And how much still Is lost Waiting at the bottom Of the ocean For one of us to go back And fetch it I am curious what the implications are I am curious if I can Handle it Has my body evolved so much so that my fingers Can't recognize The feeling of a familiar Tongue Stone Home II What does it mean to read myself into you? What does it mean that I only know you through the words past|passed down to me Through the cloth of my mother of my father of my father's mother of my father's father I remember most clearly your voice The way you would seem to sing When you saw us Like music was the only way That you could make me understand Love Cariño III I want to feel the way your voice sounded when you saw me I want to feel the gentle brush of your fingertips on my face again The way you held me like nothing else mattered I wonder if you predicted this? If the hours of planning to trade One island for another To cross el charco To settle in where everything is cold and gray and hard If you knew all along That someday Someone would pull on an hilo And reveal the lace that is our Lazos de Sangre IV I made this so that It was worth it So that the things that were shed To hide a little bit better Were lost for a reason I always imagined that behind your closet door The one you would disappear behind To fetch treasures to Tuck in my hand as mom and dad guided us out one last itme I imagined that all of your secrets hid there That maybe you're still there Waiting for me to come back That the last treasure you will tuck in my hand Will make it all make sense V When we look back will we be satisfied With how we honored you? In the end everyday was Christmas for you Everyday was an excuse to listen to music To dance To sing along Even if you didn't know the words Or maybe you did I worry we discounted your beautiful mind To make it easier To see you transform To see your cocoon harden before you burst free from this life VI In the end all I have are Lazos de Sangre Y nada mas For five years I have said these words over and over It has transformed from a lamentation To a hymn Y nada mas VII La lengua de mi mami senti Como Marbles In my mouth Smooth Round And so ready to choke me I want so badly to replay every memory where you sang to me and Understand Translate Something VIII What happens, then When layers Of mistranslation Misunderstanding Missed opportunities Missing you Distort who we are Who I am Who I have built myself to be What happens, then When a diaspora Re-places Meaning Reimagines where we are from Meaning Comes back together Meaning Rematriates What happens, though If we can't IX There is a story I remember Of Tainos drowning A colonizer To prove that he wasn't a god I constantly wonder if I am drowning myself In the same way?
I've been calling this year my year of no. Meaning, I have said no or been forced to say no to opportunities due to health issues, prioritizing mental health or just simply finally feeling comfortable to opt out and reclaim my time. Since I graduated college, I've held multiple jobs and gigs and once was very proud of myself for always being busy. I come from a family of overachievers and hard workers so it is more familiar to me to be busy and work all the time than it is to have leisure. In my year of no, I've rediscovered play in a way that I haven't in a very long time. My day-job/bread-and-butter is being the Assistant Director of the Center for Creative Exploration at PCA&D and I am happy that a good portion of my job is encouraging people to tap into their creative side. Often this means there is space for play and modeling play for creatives and the creatively curious! Just this past Friday, I spent my day working from It's Modern Art as part of the Peep Show with Executive Director of Center for Creative Exploration and long-time creative collaborator Natalie Lascek. We co-created a space that encouraged play as a vehicle to talk about the importance of funding the arts and advocating for the arts.
Natalie crafted a giant mouth that was our creativity creature and I created a zine about arts advocacy. We spent the day wearing satin red gloves and rewarding participants with knowledge (our zine) and a little alien friend. The whimsy of the project was both in the performance and in witnessing people stop and agree to be part of our weird experiment. Like most things I find myself doing in the play-o-sphere, adults said they would come back when they had time whereas kids could stop and jump right in. In my year of no, I am trying to be like the kids and jump right in.
In that spirit, I wanted to share some un-precious water color sketches I made. I say un-precious because often I overthink my work, wanting every bit to be meaningful and precise. Instead, most of these watercolor sketches were more visceral in the sense that I had a thought or sometimes half a thought and went for it. Many of these were made as I was recovering from my miscarriage and just needed to do something with my hands.
This year of no has also been part of a larger cycle of me reclaiming my childhood self. I've been doing more things that young me would want to do including embracing angst, obsessing over owls, and bringing bright and bold colors back into my work. My murals are generally colorful and bright, but my personal work wasn't for a while.
What I've learned in my journey through play is the following:
Take this as your sign to get a little weird! Start drawing even if you don't know what you're going to make! Find a felting kit and get stabbing! Play with paint just because it feels good gliding on paper! Learn a dance on YouTube! Schedule a play date with a friend! Go out and play!
|
aboutThis blog functions as a space for me to articulate what goes into making my artwork. Categories
All
Archives
March 2026
|
RSS Feed
